Keep it secret. Keep it safe.

Back to school. Whoopie. But the new semester brings some new things. Apparently the school administration populated with Vogons decided to tangle us in even more red tape as far as security is concerned in response to the horrible tragedy in Connecticut.

I myself was thrown into mourning along with the world after the horrible events in Sandy Hook Elementary, feeling a deep ache of pain for those students who had just begun their journeys to knowledge. I remember when I was in Kindergarten. I was curious about everything and passionate about everything, and years later I still am curious and passionate about everything. It saddens me that those kids barely got the chance to begin exploring the world, because I have barely scratched the surface of life with all my years. Years they will never had. I also felt sorrow for the educators, because good teachers have made the difference for me. And now future generations have lost the helping hand of those teachers.

Back to my school. School already resembled prison, and now it really is starting to bear some startling similarities. I won't go into detail, but quite a few of these policies are senseless. It didn't help that our principal stated the reason for increased security as, "to keep not nice people out." Really? With the vast array of words contained within the English language, the head of authority chose the most patronizing combination monosyllabic words possible? Yes *insert fully justified teenage eye-roll here*. Though, allegedly, she got mixed up at the beginning of the sophomore class meeting and said, "The school is not safe." Awkward... I know I should be comforted, but really, I felt a little patronized.

Later that very day, we filled out a survey on the environment of the school. There were questions like how often you did drugs, if people discriminated against you, if you got beat up, if the teachers cared about you, etc. One question was along the lines of "Do you feel safe in your school?" After all this bureaucratic silliness I sure hope so. I kept filling in the "Never" option in answer to questions about whether or not I had been bullied, discriminated against, harassed, etc  in the last year. I began to feel I had missed out on the high school experience. Of course I was bullied and excluded to no end during elementary and middle school, because people treat you like dirt if you fail to conform. 

I had an epiphany while filling out the survey. I distinctly remember being degraded for my love of Star Wars in the 5th grade. I told this to a guy friend of mine nearby, and he scoffed at a love for Star Wars being a source of harassment. It was then I realized my love of the epic, galactic trilogy was taboo only for the reason of being a girl. Little girls who loved spiders, Shakespeare, and Star Wars weren't allowed. A bit girly for a storm trooper? If only they'd had those little surveys in elementary and middle school, because that's where my trial by fire occurred. Kids start tormenting others at an early age, and it's only because I found my niche at my high school that it stopped. 

Seriously, if you are feeling low because others won't accept you, don't hate yourself. I know it's Hell, but I came out of the fires, and burns heal with time.