IB Oregon Trail

Studying Manifest Destiny in IB history. Oh, side note: best named treaty EVER is the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which settled the Mexican War. Obviously it's time to play some Oregon Trail (My characters are Batman, Ryan Gosling, RuPaul, Karl Marx, and Catherine the Great. I couldn't think of any good names).

I have always been a rather unpopular nerd, so of course at my first elementary school the popular kids had a monopoly on the Oregon Trail Game. The one time I got to play it they gave me bad directions to get me off faster. Yeah... true story.

But the Oregon Trail is fantastic. For a while there I thought I had somehow been lucky enough to have no mishaps, but then everything went wrong. Catherine the Great died of Cholera (not, as rumor has it, having sex with a horse. Weird AP Euro facts are always relevant). RuPaul did, too. Karl Marx was killed in a random buffalo stampede. Batman died from typhoid, but showed later covered in mud. Apparently he wasn't dead yet in true Monty Python Style. But he died in an unfortunate buffalo stampede (just the darndest thing). Of course thieves kept stealing my oxen and stuff, but I was a banker so I could buy more supplies. Somehow my party suffered from a multitude of diseases, some of which make me wonder what my characters were doing to get so sick...

BUT RYAN GOSLING MADE IT TO OREGON!!!!! 

Nerd's Creed 3

I have played video games before. Just the usual stuff: Mario, Legend of Zelda, and Sonic. I have never been tempted to play the sort of games that have lots of violence and busty females. But I seriously WOULD play this game:

The first time I saw this commercial I couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes. This is just too awesome for words. As a history buff who just finished up the American Revolution unit in her IB history class, I consider this completely fantastic. You see how the Assassin Dude (Apparently his name is Connor) leaps through windows and is slicing through redcoats, that's me when I walk into an IB History test. The question may be "Analyze the reasons for the Anti-Federalists' opposition to ratifying the Constitution," and I'll be writing something eloquent like "As staunch believers in individual and states' rights, the Anti-Federalists vehemently opposed ratification of the Constitution based in their fear of a continuation of tyrannical governmental oppression similar to that of King George III's reign." But inside, I'm like "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!!!" and I'm cutting down British troops like a total boss. After I finish a grueling multiple-choice part, write a phenomenally sophisticated essay, and turn it in, I sit back down and it's just like when George Washington gives the nod of approval to Assassin Dude. That's exactly what the test is like.

What I'm dying to know is if my teacher will give me extra credit for it, or if it could count for Enrichment (required extra credit). I'd probably have to write a paper on its historical inaccuracies, but nothing's perfect.

Super IB Mario

There is a door in the lobby. Nothing special about it. I'm sure you've encountered a door like this. Every school has one. I've walked by this door for two entire years without ever suspecting it was hiding a secret. It wasn't until yesterday that I actually noticed what was so odd about it. The plaque on it says "Plumbing Chase." I thought that was a bit strange, then I stopped to think about it. I have no idea what a Plumbing Chase could be or why my school would need one. I chewed the words carefully. "Plumbing" of course, but why a "Chase?" Who would want to chase plumbing?

It was at that precise moment that I remembered the greatest hero of all time ever associated with plumbing and chasing: Mario. The only thing that door could be is a portal into a universe that contains a stocky plumber in love with a simpering, ice-sculpture of a princess and a monster obsessed with capturing her. It will be full of castles and Koopas, mushrooms and magic, secret realms and secret treasures.

Curious, I warily approached the door. I couldn't believe that something so innocuous could hide something so incredible. Could this be a gateway from reality to the gamescape? Or was I simply living in a video game and about to leave the exposition and embark on an adventure? This gave me pause. If it was the latter, no problem (though I would be terribly disappointed if I was a fictional clump of pixels on a tv screen). If the former, then it would be disastrous to open the divide. I'd end up going to classes with Goombas and Boos. Bowser would become the harsh, angry gym teacher every school seems required to have. True, I could ride Yoshi, but dodging shells during class change would make it even harder to navigate the halls unscathed and be on time.

No, this door was meant to be overlooked for a reason. I swallowed my curiosity and turned away from my discovery. I've kept this to myself, but every time I go by it and no one is around, I put my ear to the door and listen. I swear, I can faintly hear the cry of "Mario!" and "BWHAHAHAHAHA!" The worlds remain separate. But I still keep an eye out for a portly little fellow in red and overalls. I'll know he isn't a freshman because they can't grow mustaches of Mario's caliber. You never know. Maybe before I graduate I'll take a peek in there and open the mystery box of the Plumbing Chase.